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Four things You should avoid doing in a new relationship, especially number four!

Four things You should avoid doing in a new relationship, especially number four!.


In the early stages of relationships, people tend to make costly mistakes that might even end the relationship, or cost them their peace of mind if the relationship survives. Well, I can’t really blame them, there is nothing as sweet as finding a partner, or as thrilling as falling in love, especially after a long time of being single and lonely, as a result, when they finally gets a partner, they tend to do everything in their power to make the relationship work but most times they end up doing things that are unhealthy to the relationship.


If you are in a new relationship, one of the signs that you are in the right place is that, you know and you feel your are accepted by that person for who you are, but don’t get it twisted, acceptance ain’t enough to let your emotional guards down!


Here are four things you don’t do in a new relationship all in the name of love!


1: Not establishing clear boundaries.


You should never in your new relationship be a stand up trash can, where everybody or your supposed lover can dump any trash and nothing will happen. As a human, there are things you don’t like, never ever accept those things because you are in love. Remember, whatever you tolerate, you are teaching them how to treat you. Don’t play the nice guy or lady, being nice is good but not too much. Think about it!


Note: When establishing this boundaries, do it with all humility, don’t be rude about it, so you don’t end the relationship before it starts.


2: Don’t be over available!


Being there for your partner when they need you is very good, as a matter of fact it builds and strengthens the relationship.


Then again, being available will have a downside, when you are always available, even at your own inconvenience, yes it’s good to make sacrifices, but there are some sacrifices that can cost you your peace of mind. Don’t assume you must be there always, don’t assume you must solve all their problems, no, that is very wrong. When you can’t, you just can’t, you don’t have to kill yourself pleasing your partner! If you are too available you might be mistaken for being clingy and you might loose your relevance in that relationship, and that will be very bad!



3: Rushing things!


So many people, once in a relationship, make the mistake of moving too fast,


for example, telling the partner on the second date that they are the one or posting their pictures on social media after your second date with captions like, I just found the one!. Come on! You guys are just beginning to study each other! And if your partner isn’t ready for that kind of a relationship at the moment, would begin to draw back and something that would matured to be a great relationship, assuming it was left to grow at its own pace.


Don’t rush it, just take it slow and steady, one step at a time.


4: Don’t feed your obsession by always looking at your partner’s picture. (It kills!).


This particular mistake is committed by both people in old relationships, new relationships, most especially, long distance relationships, etc. Don’t get me wrong, looking at your lover’s picture is very good, the downside is in using it as a form of therapy, a form of therapy in the sense that, a person looks at his or her partner’s picture when they feel down, bored, stressed, angry or any other bad feeling that has to do with emotions and they can’t get to their partner at the time, so they look at the picture to ease and calm themselves, this is not healthy at all, if you feel down in any way, you can go out, do some exercise, yoga, hang out with friends or do any other thing to lift your spirit, and not looking at your partner’s picture, because looking at their picture makes you idolize them and it feeds your obsession for them than love! And obsession in a relationship is bad, especially for a long distance relationship, after you might have fed your obsession by looking at your partner’s picture, when you finally meet them in person, trust me, you won’t be yourself, in the sense that you will become emotionally enslaved to them and you won’t even be able to voice out your deep felt opinions or object whatever he or she says because you will be too scared of losing them and trust me, at this point your relationship is 99% over.


Another downside to this is that, after a break up, oh boy! The pain is ten times the pain of a normal break up, most times the person begins considering suicide, just to escape the pain they are going through.


Falling in love is very good but tread with caution cause, because, love is a thing of the heart and mind and you don’t want to tamper carelessly with your heart.


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Joshua Ede

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